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# The Official Men's Room Etiquette Aptitude Exam (OMREAE) #
#  revision 2.0  |  winter, 2006                           #
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| PREFACE |
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The Official Men's Room Etiquette Aptitude Exam has been developed to assist
in creating a greater awareness of etiquette within the men's washroom. This
test should be administered to all men, 14 years of age and older, on a
bi-annual basis.

The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room. An X above
the number will indicate "in use."

(Sample):

 .........................
 |   |   | x |   |   | x | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | are occupied.)
 .........................

You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you
are to correctly stand. Good luck!


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| EASY SECTION |
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1.) In the example below, urinals #2 and #4 are current occupied. 
    You enter the washroom; where do you stand?

 .........................
 |   : x :   : x :   :   | 
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice:___

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Correct answer: 6 | It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively
knows this. Standing in urinal #6 assures the best placement of the 3 males
in the given number of urinals. Note that, out of respect for the male in
the #4 stall, #2/#6 should wait until he has finished and stepped away from
the urinals.
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2.) One person is current occupying stall #1. Which do you use? 

 .........................
 | x :   :   :   :   :   |
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice:___

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Correct answer: 6 | Stall #5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of
being next to someone who arrives later.
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| MODERATE SECTION |
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3.) You enter the washroom and pleasantly find that none of the urinals are
occupied. Given this free-reign, what is your choice?

 .........................
 |   :   :   :   :   :   |
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice:___

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Correct answer: 1 or 6 | This question poses a bit of difficulty to the
novice. At first, any urinal may seem acceptable. However, by choosing
urinals #1 or #6, you are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me"
and proactively preserving the natural balance of men's room etiquette.
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4.) You come upon a situation in which every-other urinal has been occupied.

 .........................
 |   : x :   : x :   : x |
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice:___

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Correct answer: 1 | You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you
minimize the impact and get a wall on your left.  NEVER go between TWO guys
if you can help it.  Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms where the herd
thunders in.
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| ADVANCED SECTION |
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5.) Some disparity has occured in the washroom leaving the following
configuration. Please choose carefully.

 .........................
 |   : x :   :   : x : x |
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice:___

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Correct answer: 4 | Believe it or not, #1 and #3 "couples" you with the guy
in stall #2.  And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we?  This differs from
question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained.
Suffice to say, only we men would understand!
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| EXPERT SECTION |
+----------------+

6.) You enter the washroom facility to find two pairs of men who obviously
are men's room novices. Your choices are limited here, so choose wisely and
take your time.

 .........................
 | x : x :   :   : x : x |
 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
 -------------------------

Your choice:___

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Correct answer: NONE |  You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair
or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more.  If you have to
go REAL, REAL BAD, for goodness sake! ... use a doored stall.
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| OTHER PARTS OF THE UNWRITTEN CODE OF THE URINALS |
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o No talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and
  unemotional.  This ain't no clubhouse.

o I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone other
  than yourself.  A touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense.

o No singing, humming or whistling. Period.

o Grunts and groans, along with other bodily noises, are to be expected.

o Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there.
  I will not look again".


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