Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 23:08:24 -0500
To: sidesplitters
Subject: A Lesson from the Homeless

Kirk was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars
for dinner.

Kirk took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you
this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago,"  the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" Kirk asked.  

"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said.  "I need  everything I can get
just to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" Kirk
asked.

"Are you NUTS!"  replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20
years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of
food?"  Kirk asked.

"What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man.

"Well," said Kirk, "I'm not going to give you the money.  Instead, I'm going
to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife Kim.

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for
doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

Kirk replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like
who's given up beer, gambling, golf and sex."